For the first time in over 4 years I am done breastfeeding. I thought my last day breastfeeding would have been so much more memorable. Really, it was me laying on my side and trying to get a crying toddler to sleep all while my nipples were in excruciating pain. Not the gentle “goodbye” to breastfeeding that I had in my head. Advice to new parents: get any images of parenting out of your head now. They’ll just set you up for failure.
Breastfeeding was an absolute rollercoaster of an experience. There were times I hated it and times that it brought me pure joy. Now that we’ve been done for a couple months now, I can reflect on things that I miss about breastfeeding.
- The boobs. When my milk first came in I had the sexiest engorged boobs I’ve ever had. They were magnificent. I was filling out a size D or DD bra and I loved it. Now that we’re done my boobs look like a laundry detergent pod that leaked out before it was able to be used. RIP perky boobies!
- Being able to gently put my son to sleep while playing on my phone. Not sure if it was the melatonin in the milk or what, but when I nursed my son in the evenings he was out like a light. We’re still struggling to find a night time routine that soothes him like breastfeeding did. It seemed much easier to just nurse him to sleep.
- Bonding time. I miss rocking my babies and nursing them until they were happy and content. One of the sweetest things was having one of them look up at me with the sweetest smile and have that beautiful connection. We still have our moments now, but it’s not the same.
- Mentally preparing to fight somebody that tried to say anything about “still breastfeeding a toddler” or better yet, breastfeeding in public. I suppose it’s a good thing I never had to use my argument after 4 years, but man… I was ready for it!
- Using breastfeeding as an excuse to eat. Don’t get me wrong… You do legitimately get hungry when you breastfeed, but being able to point to my nursling when I was scarfing down my Little Debbie snack was a nice scapegoat.
- Squirting my milk as far as I could. My husband HATED when I did this but it was so much fun to just use my boobs like milky water cannons when I didn’t feel like being touched.
- The awesome feeling of producing a superfood for my tiny human. I’m pro-feeding whether it is breastmilk or formula but being able to reflect on how my body was able to produce everything my child needed for the first year of his life was so freaking cool.
I’m very content with this chapter of motherhood coming to a close. I do miss every single one of these things, but there are new awesome moments and connections that have come along since completely weaning. Story time is something I enjoy even more and being able to just rock my son to sleep is so rewarding. Challenging at times, but rewarding.
Have you weaned your baby completely? What do you miss about breastfeeding?