Manifestation of My Exhaustion

If I had a line break for every interruption I received while writing this post it would be 100 pages long. Smiling nods acknowledging the ball of multi-colored play-doh, wiping noses and butts, reading books, crazy shaking with Team Umizoomi and refilling a sippy cup for the 5th time are all happening before I get to the second paragraph of this post. 23 drafts. That’s how many times I’ve started writing something attention-grabbing. 23 attempts to put my heart and passion out there for the world to see. 23 times I’ve been desperate for a connection from another mom – another human for that matter. I love writing and I always have. But after 12 hours of putting out little fires caused by my sour-patch kids I’m so tired that nothing worthwhile seems to escape from my fingertips and make its way to this blog.

In addition to being exhausted I’ve been discouraged because it seems to be growing at a snail’s pace. The veteran bloggers that I look up to and get advice from seem to say the same thing: Just keep putting out quality content and the growth will come. I believe in this blog. I LOVE being able to save people money, talk about motherhood and make connections. But let’s be honest with each other… It isn’t just about the content. It’s about SEO’s, keywords, paying for advertising, promoting, tagging, sharing, collaborating, etc. Obviously these are ways for other people to make money and I’m not knocking it – it’s a thing and I have to adapt, but it’s overwhelming. There is so much more that goes into this than I ever imagined. But I want it. I want to share opportunities with you. I want to offer you giveaways, introduce you to new companies and products that we love. I want to be able to contribute financially to my family and give us the opportunity to travel. I want all of this without having to compromise the integrity of this blog.

You may not remember, but about a year and a half ago I got an email from Popsugar Moms. They wanted to feature my blog about breastfeeding a toddler. Well, I was in the midst of postpartum depression and anxiety, dealing with my dad’s estate and parenting two children under 3. The blog took a back seat and the email went unnoticed. I hadn’t even logged into that email account for months. When I finally did and saw the email I cried. I knew it was a missed opportunity – and a good one at that. A parenting community that I love and follow wanted to share my story. It was gut wrenching when I reached out and didn’t hear back. (I don’t blame them for not getting back to me!)

But it gave me the motivation to keep going. Maybe someone would feel a connection. Maybe eventually my blog would land in front of the right set of eyes and make them realize that there’s something special here.  Until that happens, I’m going to keep writing in-

between diaper changes and vacuuming. After reading Jack’s favorite story for the fifth time. After speech therapy and after bed time – whenever that may be tonight.

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