I remember when my dad passed away people would tell me that time would heal me. Eventually the holidays wouldn’t be as painful, I’d stop crying when I looked at pictures of him and I wouldn’t be angry and bitter. All of those things have happened but I cannot give time the credit of healing my wounds. When you’re experiencing a breakup, death, or a going through a tough time, you will make it through and things will get better. Please don’t expect to simply feel better as days pass you by. You can choose to be angry and wallow but you can also choose to find peacefulness and happiness. Assuming that time alone will get you through this rough time in your life will only set you up for failure. You must choose to live a celebratory life and make memories to hold onto when life throws you another curve ball.
Think about it: If you spend the next year of your life living in bitterness and depression, you’re no closer to healing than you were when you were first faced with that adversity. On the other side, if you spend this next year living bigger and better and persevere in spite of that adversity, you’ll be in a better place mentally that you ever imagined possible. I know sometimes you can feel guilty for laughing and having a good time, but you are deserving of happiness! If you have a hard time mustering up the strength to choose happiness for yourself, do it for your loved one, your children, or to show the world you can.
Some days will be harder than others but every day that you wake up, you have the opportunity to to choose something other than sadness. I like to watch some of my dad’s favorite shows. I don’t think the Three Stooges are all that funny, but I love imagining his laugh. I remember how his nose wrinkled and his top teeth smiled through his mustache. On his birthday I go out for lunch and retail therapy. I still cry and have my bad days where I just need to wallow. There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotions but don’t live there. Don’t live in a place that is dark and lonely. You are strong enough to get through this and when you don’t think you are, talk about it with someone willing to listen. Life is hard and we all have our stories and struggles, but life is also beautiful! Look for the helpers. Look for the rainbows. Look for the wonderful things this crazy world has to offer! Your loved one would want that for you.