You Know You’re TTCing When…

I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic lately remembering my pregnancy and even my TTC days. For those of you not familiar with the lingo, TTC means trying to conceive. It took my husband and I 15 months to get pregnant with our son and while it was incredibly frustrating at the time, these are some things I remember about that time in my life. Some points touch on the ridiculousness of that time and other highlight how absolutely trying TTC is. I shed a lot of tears during those 15 months and I know that there are so many women out there who have been trying for YEARS with no success. I hope you find humor and comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

You Know You’re TTC when:

  1. You lose the rubber. Awkward, I know! But that first time you do the…ahem…Baby Dance, it’s a strange feeling. I’m not talking about the physical feeling, but the emotional side of it. My husband and I had spent our entire relationship thinking of a baby as the “worst case scenario” (poor phrasing) and now here we are TRYING to achieve that goal. It was a strange and exciting feeling to make that jump to TRYING to conceive.
  2. You Take OPK’s. More lingo! An OPK is an Ovulation Prediction Kit or simply an ovulation test. If you’ve been in the game for a while you know to buy the 40 count pack off of Amazon. This is the precursor to the pregnancy test. The first positive test strip to get excited about. This shows when you’re about to ovulate and when it’s time to baby dance. I always thought it was amazing that you can track your cycles through a cheap strip of paper.
  3. You Time the Baby Dance. There are all sorts of ways to “time it perfectly” so that you increase your odds of getting pregnant. Some say you dance every other day, or every 2 days. I’ve heard every single day. Only baby dance on Thursdays when there’s a full moon… I’ve heard it all. Some even have names, like The Sperm Meets the Egg plan.
  4. You Force the Dance. Once you find the plan that you think will get you pregnant, you still have to convince your partner that tonight is THE night for romance. Depending on how long you’ve been trying, “romance” is not quite the right term to use. After a while it unfortunately has a tendency to become a chore.
  5. You’re Comfortable Discussing your CM. Ah yes, cervical mucus. The ugly duckling of the TTC journey. There are websites that can show you fertile cervical mucus and what you should be looking for if you want to get pregnant. EWCM (Egg White Cervical Mucus… yummy!) is another term used to describe the type of mucus. Just a tip, close the website before your partner sees this. It can scar them for life.
  6. You know your cervical positioning. You know if it’s low, high, soft, firm, open or closed and you know what all of those things mean as far as getting pregnant.
  7. You have a pillow designated to elevate your hips after a baby dance. To ensure that all of the “love juice” stays in  place, you need to elevate your hips for a while. I learned to use my least favorite pillow and made sure to use it specifically for this purpose. Use your imagination to figure out why.
  8. You blame yourself or your partner for not getting pregnant. You just KNOW that you didn’t get pregnant because you ate too much beef this cycle or your partner just couldn’t kick the caffeine habit. (insert other ridiculous reason here).
  9. You want to slap someone for saying that you, “just need to relax and it will happen.”
  10. You want to punch someone for asking when you’ll have kids.
  11. You chart. Charting means you’re tracking EVERYTHING about your cycle. Your CM, BBT (basal body temp), cervical position, menstrual cycles and when you baby dance. It’s the OCD way to TTC.
  12. You think you’re just not meant to have kids. Whether you think it’s God’s way of saying you’re not fit to have a baby or if it could somehow be Karma kicking your butt, some higher power is holding you back.
  13. You overanalyze. Every twinge, fart, cramp, poop, noise, feeling and smell means something.
  14. You dread the Two Week Wait. The wait between the time you ovulate and your estimated period are absolute HELL. That’s when number 13 comes in to play.
  15. You give up. Whether you’re frustrated, tired, refocusing your energy or just pursuing other options, you’ve decided to take a TTC break.
  16. You make the decision to baby dance because you want to, not because it’s time to.
  17. You hope your OB prescribes you Clomid. Just give me something to improve my odds already!
  18. You lie to yourself and say that you’re ok if you don’t get pregnant this cycle.
  19. You POAS. That’s Pee On A Stick for the newbies out there. This is the make it or break it time when you take a pregnancy test.
  20. You hold your pregnancy test up to the light to try to see a positive.
  21. You open your pregnancy test up to see if you can get a better look.
  22. You invert the colors on your computer to try to see if there’s even a faint sign of a positive.
  23. Accept the fact that it’s yet another negative (aka Big Fat Negative/BFN).
  24. You put on a fake smile when someone announces their pregnancy.
  25. You hide your book of baby names and pregnancy/baby reminders. This includes pregnant friends on facebook and/or new moms.
  26. You start the whole process over with Cycle Day 1.
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