Maternity Leave – Day 1

On Friday afternoon when I turned in my papers to begin my maternity leave, I was so relieved. If my baby doesn’t decide to come on his own, I would have one week to relax, put my swollen feet up and catch up on some sleep. As I left, some people told me to enjoy my vacation. I went nearly a full year without taking any vacation time just so I can have some paid time while I’m home with my newborn son. I will admit though, that I anticipated this week to be more vacation-ish than the next few weeks as I have no real responsibilities.

My plan for Monday morning was to sleep in, keep my feet up and watch some awful AM television. (I’m a fan of infomercials) Things did not go as planned. My morning began around 4:45am to the sound of marbles rolling around. There was no evidence of anything moving in our room so I pushed myself out of bed (mind you, I’m 40+ weeks pregnant) and checked on the dogs in the living room. They didn’t seem to be getting into anything but I advised them to stop whatever they were doing. I got the “you’re crazy” look from both of my dogs. I then fell back into bed (…40+ weeks pregnant), attempted to get comfortable and then I heard the noise again. It HAS to be the dogs. I walked into the living room again, still getting the crazy look from my dogs, and I hear the noise above my head. There is something in the attic!

We live in a duplex under two large oak trees. These trees are full of cute little squirrels. I have a feeling that one found a small hole and decided to bowl in my attic using an acorn. I would hear the acorn roll and then a quick scurry behind it. Obviously this squirrel doesn’t realize what today is. It’s the first day of my maternity leave!! I’m supposed to sleep in. Meanwhile, my husband is fast asleep, mouth agape and has no clue this is going on. Somehow I think I would have felt better if he had woken up too. I plotted a game of squirrel golf using his open mouth as the hole.

After emailing my landlord to have this addressed, my husband woke up for work. He saw that I was up and I could tell he was hoping my water broke. I told him what happened and he apologized and told me to just relax and take a nap today. After a quick shower I went to the store to purchase some ultrasonic repellents for the house (these work wonders). After searching all over the store for these things I finally checked out. The cashier thought that they were plug-in dog whistles. I can’t make this up…

Got home, plugged in the repellents/dog whistles, did laundry, made lunch and I’m now trying to discretely cover up some holes before our landlord gets here. Day 2 of maternity leave will include me going to my over-crowded doctor’s office to get a finger in my cervix. Oh boy! Yes, let me go sip my Mai-Tai while I enjoy the rest of my “vacation.”

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