The Final Days

It’s so crazy to wake up every day knowing that it just might be my last day being pregnant with my first baby. After having a few emotional outbursts I’ve had fewer people pester me about STILL being pregnant. Sometimes you just have to play the Queen Bitch pregnancy card. I find that most people are very forgiving of someone who has swollen feet and ankles and raging hormones.

While I’d love to meet my son, I have a feeling that these next few days of being pregnant are going to be amazing. I’ll be working half days until I have him. Being at work a full 8 hours really takes a toll on my feet, back and emotions. Kudos to the working women whose water breaks at the copier! Speaking of ruptured membranes at work… This is one of my fears. Apparently years ago at my office a woman (who will remain unnamed) was just going about her day and her water broke. Nearly everyone I’ve talked to at work has brought up her name. She may have cured cancer but she will forever be known as the woman whose water broke in the office.

I have to admit that I’ve scouted out a few large stains throughout the office and should anything happen to my membranes, I’m running for these established stains. If I can blame my nasty farts on a printer (see full term vlog), I can disguise my broken water in the center of a coffee spill. I have a change of clothes in my car and I’ve tucked away a few dance moves to shuffle past the CEO’s office into the ladies room.

To calm my fear of a public display of my water breaking, I did a quick Google search to see how often this even happens. Before I could find any solid statistics I read, “…It often won’t come as an embarrassing gush, but rather a small trickle.” Oh ok, so instead of people assuming that I’m going into labor, they’ll compare notes in the break room and try to decide if I pissed myself or if my water broke. I stopped Googling after this thought.

Even if Colton arrives late, there are still only DAYS left of me being pregnant. I’ve taken some time to examine my pregnant body. My belly button hangs out more on my right side and is surrounded by light pink stretch marks. My other stretch marks are right below my belly button and look like a happy trail leading right to what will soon be ground zero. My boobs look incredibly lazy and have decided to just relax on top of my belly. The days of my nipples pointing outward are sadly over. Oh and my nipples! They resemble small burnt pancakes. My feet are huge. The skin is so tight I feel like they are going to pop. I would describe my ankles but I don’t have any right now. Honestly though, I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss seeing my belly roll, shake from his hiccups, feeling his foot on my right side and knowing that he’s completely safe inside of me. I was absolutely blessed with a very healthy pregnancy and I do not take that for granted. If parts of my body never go back to “normal” I’ll be ok because I know that I spent the past 40 weeks being the best mommy I know how to be to my unborn child.

If you want to stay updated on my labor and delivery, follow me on Twitter @Mommy_Laughs or like me on facebook: Thanks for reading!


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