While I’ll have to admit that when you’re pregnant and full of raging hormones, it is quite possible that a compliment will make you cry or turn into the Hulk, there are a few things that you should ABSOLUTELY avoid saying to a pregnant woman. I’ve compiled a list. To my male readers, print this post and use it as a filter if you’re the “Speak Before Thinking” types.
- “You don’t even look pregnant!” – Even early on I noticed a new little pooch. Yes, it was bloat, but in my head that was ALL baby. To hear that I don’t look pregnant made me feel bloated and fat.
- “You don’t look pregnant. You just look heavy.” – Oh yes, this was actually muttered to me! I was 5 months pregnant at the time. At that point I felt great, had hardly gained any weight, but was starting to embrace my little bump.
- “Oh my! You’ve had quite the weight gain.” – This came from a nurse at my OB office. Thank you, I’m going home to eat my feelings.
- “Your feet are so swollen!” – Really? I hadn’t noticed. Probably because I haven’t been able to see them for 3 months. Thanks for pointing it out though – now the office is staring at my cankles.
- “How dilated are you?”– Why in the hell would I want to discuss my cervical dilation with you? Unless we’re on that level where we discuss these things, I’m not talking about how I was fingered by my gyno.
- “You look like you’re about to pop!” – This one always reminds me of Violet from Willy Wonka. I’ll summon the Oompa Loompas for me to be juiced you asshole.
- “You haven’t had that baby yet?” – I’m sitting in my cubicle and subjecting myself to your stupidity, aren’t I?
- “Oh Honey, you look miserable.” – That’s actually the look I was going for. I figured if I looked like an Ogre that it would keep the villagers away. I was wrong.
- “How much weight have you gained?” – People always seem to ask me this when I’m shoving cake or chocolate into my mouth. If you wouldn’t ask this question to a non-preggo, you probably shouldn’t ask someone who has 30 extra pounds of anger behind them.
- “When did you conceive?” – I always find it humorous to go into too much detail with this answer. “Well, it was a Thursday and I had just changed into my comfy granny panties. Since we were drunk on Ice House he couldn’t keep his hands off of me.”
- “When I’m pregnant I’m going to diet and exercise so I don’t gain weight. Good for you for enjoying your pregnancy, though.” – …..
- “Get sleep while you can!” – Well, I would but the pressure from my cankles, leaky tits and heavy belly make it a little difficult. I’ll keep reminding myself that more sleepless nights are right around the corner. I’m sure that will help. Thanks!
- “Can you still wear your pre-pregnancy clothes?” – I can wear anything that has enough elastic in the waistband.
- “You don’t even look pregnant from the back” – This one creeps me out. Are you inspecting my ass to see how pregnant it looks? Are there people that look pregnant from the back?
- “Have lots and lots of sex & that will start labor.” – You’re 78 years old and making me uncomfortable.
- “Are you planning to have the baby naturally?” – Why do you want to know other than to offer your 2 cents about how you delivered without any pain meds or an epidural. Good for you, where’s your trophy? Oh ya, they don’t hand those out.
- “You’re going to have a BIG baby!” – How do I interpret that other than, “You look huge!”
- “Wow! You look SO pregnant.” – Pregnant is pregnant. Whether you’re 20 weeks or 38 weeks you are just as pregnant as you were the day before. What changes from week 20 to week 38 is your size and how uncomfortable you’ve become. It doesn’t help that everyone around you is staring at your belly.
If you’re not aware, I vlog on Youtube. I’m extremely open about ALL of these things. I am an open book. Any woman who is pregnant, trying to conceive or that is just interested is welcome to ask me the more intimate questions. However, most of these statements were made at work. I find them to be incredibly off putting and creepy. Some come from guys, others from old bittys. It’s so awkward. I think there is an unspoken mom code too. There are some women I know that I can talk to about constipation, sex, CM and everything in between.
Also on the list of unacceptable things to do/say to a pregnant woman is to talk to her belly, stare at her belly while having a conversation with her and touching her belly when you didn’t ask. It’s like when you carry around a human being in your abdomen you are on display. All personal boundaries are disregarded. I am going with the Santa Claus theory. Santa is known for his big jolly belly. It makes him approachable. I think that when you’re pregnant, people think they can say and ask anything. Like Santa, you only encounter a pregnant woman so often. While you have the chance you better ask as many questions as possible.
What are some things people have said to you while pregnant? Better yet, when have you put your foot in your mouth for saying something stupid?